It helps to see idols.

I just had a really great weekend.  My friend Jon and I went to two concerts.  On Friday night, we went to the Orpheum theater to see Tori Amos!  I have been looking forward to this for a long time - ever since I bought the tickets!!  We were lucky and ended up with CENTER SEATS in about the 6th or 8th row!  It was perfect!  We could see Tori so close and see everything that was happening.  I managed to take a few junky cell phone pictures.  She played a lot of my favorite songs like Sugar, Northern Lad, Spring Haze, and Parasol.  She also played one of my favorites from the new album - Beauty of Speed, and did an AMAZING performance of Merman.  That one almost got me.  Almost.

On the other end of the spectrum, we headed out to Worcester on Saturday night to see Nightwish at the Palladium.  It was a really fun show, but it just reinforced how bummed I am that Tarja is no longer their singer, and I won't ever be able to see them live with her.  Her voice just brought so much to the band's unique sound.  The new singer, Anette is ok I guess, but she's making the band just sound sort of Evanescence-ey now, which is a total shame.  I guess this will make their music more accessible, so it's probably a smart move for them, but it kind of bums me out.  I did pick up a sticker/flyer for Tarja's new solo project.  I visited her website and checked out the songs she has available for download, and it's kind of funny because it just sounds sort of like Nightwish.  Her album comes out in the states in February, so I have to remember to get it.  I'd love to go see one of her shows if she ever comes around here.

Yesterday I had a pretty quiet day.  I did a lot of thinking about my current situation and tried to make it constructive.  I don't really know what I want to do in the long run, and that is ok.  I know I am not really happy at my current job, and I think I won't really be happy at any job like this right now.  I like the money, and I like the security, but the day-to-day is boring and uninspiring, and I can't make myself passionate about it.  It's not for me, but I have been sticking with it because I do make good money, and I have advanced far in the few years I have been in this, and I know I'll continue to move up this ladder if I just keep showing up everyday.  I guess that's how it works.  I enjoy it sometimes, but not frequently enough where I can picture myself doing this everyday until I am 65 and I can cash in my 401k.

Now, what I am about to talk about is no ground-breaking thing.  I feel like everyone has gotten a chance to do something like this before they choose to grow up completely, and I feel like I've missed the boat.  What I would LOVE to do in the near future is this: quit my job, move somewhere cheaper to live, and work in a yarn store.  JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.  During this time, I could get certified to teach knitting, and also complete the entire Master Knitter program from the TKGA.  I would definitely be around people who could help me and encourage me.  I've saved a lot of money to fall back on.  If I moved and seriously cut back my expenses, I could definitely take care of myself and do this for a while.  Maybe do this until the blonde grows out of my hair completely, and then if I am happy and can keep going, I will.  If not, I can come back to this cubicle life.  I've gone to college, I've worked in this and advanced in it in the little amount of time I've been here.  I make a lot of money for my age.  I've earned this, and therefore, I feel I will always have a place in this office life.  I may have to pick up a few rungs below the one I'm currently on, but that's ok.  Hopefully I won't.  I have this stupid apartment until the end of next summer.  I could continue to work here and make the best of it until then, try to get my car as paid off as possible, and try to save as much as I can so I have a more than adequate safety net, and then take off.

A few years ago, my brother said 'fuck you college' and went to California to snowboard for about 9 months.  Then he came back and now he is in China doing what he loves and is passionate about.  Lots of other young people take time off like this too to do some soul searching.  I. totally. missed. this. boat.  I know this would be ok for me to do, but I need others to say it is ok too.  If it is just me, like it is now, I will doubt myself.  SO POST COMMENTS.

Comments

[Rachel]

You should totally do it. It will be awesome. It's the kind of thing where if you do it and it doesn't work out it's no big deal, but if you never try you'll always feel lame about it.

[robert]

sometimes i feel like i missed the boat too. in a lot of ways. i think you should do it.

i wish i was brave enough to do it too.

[TinasMom]

Yarn & textiles are with us forever. Great shops & people who know what they are doing will always be in demand. Here we have 1 good yarn shop. Hers is a monopoly & could use some competition. I'm sure that is true all over. I've had a couple of great ideas in my lifetime but I wasn't brave enough to execute them. I still work in a cubicle making good money. Follow your gut, it may not work out but that is ok.. you can follow it again & again; keeping in mind if something doesn't work out the way you think it should have (it's not a mistake it's only a new door to open & see what is behind). Who knows where it will lead you. It's worth finding out.

[santina]

you know what I think you should do... move in with me again!!! here in b-more!!! the land of pleasant living and cheap rent!!!

also, you definitely advised me to follow what I think is the right decision for me at the time. I absolutely think you should do the same. Life isn't about security all the time, it's about taking the risks that make your life better for yourself.